Suit Up
Gives me Chills

"27 years ago I sat in this locker room just like you guys getting ready to play a game. I walked down the locker room and it still smells the same. It takes you back real quick. One of the things that caught me is how fast 27 years goes by. There are so many people that live vicariously through you! I would give anything tonight to jump in one of these uniforms with you guys. That Feeling goes away, and it goes away and it doesn’t come every Friday Night. It comes when you get married. It comes when your child is born. So you get it…. you just don’t get it every Friday Night. Your going to miss that more then anything in the world. That’s what I miss. And so you Seniors that are focused on college, your focused on your work after High School….what your gonna do next… your focused on tomorrow aren’t yah? You got plenty of time for tomorrows. But these tonights…. there going by fast. You Focus on Tonight. This is about you guys. This is about the guys in this room that care about each other… that know that there are only so many of these nights left. It’s about you. Their a faceless opponent. They just happened to draw the short straw tonight. Now get your asses ready to play! Win on three …. One … Two …. Three. Win!"

- Coach Sean Peyton

Here’s to the past, they can kiss my glass, I hope she’s happy with him, here’s to the girl, who wrecked my world, that angel who did me in, I think the devil drives a coups de ville, I watched em drive away over the hill, not against her will, I’ve got time to kill, down here in brokenheartsville!

On the bright side, I am an official football coach of the Glenvar Highlanders. It’s awesome & I love the kids. They are hard workers and are meshing great together as a team. On the down side, I am struggling with my own life. I’m trying to focus on God and what he has planned for me, but it’s hard not having anyone to talk to really. I’m trying not to let the fact that all my friends and exs have someone whom they love and adore bother me, but I’m sitting here alone asking, when will it actually be my turn?:( when will someone come along who will cherish and support me in all that I do. Who will actually chose me? It’s hard not to let that bother me…

Is a moment really a moment…?

Is a great moment really a great moment, if you have no one to share it with? Today I got the news that I am now a Glenvar Football Coach. Man, I have dreamt about the days when I would be a High School Football coach and become an assistant coach at my alma matter is such a blessing and a dream come true! I’m definitely excited. But, as excited as I am, I come home and chill after handing out football pads today, and I have no one to share my experiences with & the happiness I share for my dreams of coaching with… I’m just alone & lonely… So let me ask you, if your reading this, is a moment really that awesome if you don’t have anyone to share it with…?

I’m so ready to leave this earth it ain’t funny… Like please?

Would it be too much to ask of someone if they could just come put me out of my misery? Like shoot me, drown me, whatever. Just make it quick, cause I’m tired of this pain & hurt…

There’s no true love anymore… It’s all “what can you do for me?” And it’s all about ourselves. It’s never about the other person, loving them just because… Sacrificing all you have for them out of the kindness of your heart. None. Christ left us the ultimate example of true love by dying the worst death possible for us! For sacrificing his life for a people who where so totally undeserving of his grace and love! & just like Him, now days if you do that, people take you for granted and walk all over you. They treat true love like dirt and something is wrong with someone if they actually care about the other person instead of themselves… It’s sad. And it breaks my heart. I can’t even begin to tell you how much pain I feel.

Haven’t been on in a long time

Well, since I haven’t been on here in a while, just want to give a little update… My life has not changed… Still putting in everything I’ve got just to be crushed once again. I’m so tired of this life I have. I’m so sick of everything I touch turning to rubble. I’m done. Not just with everything, but with this life…

Life sort of smacks you in the face once you graduate, you really find out that you don’t have it all together. You’ve just got to put it in Gods hands and let Him lead you where you are meant to be. I am trying my hardest to do this ha.